Noughts and Crosses Tribute
by A-tinge-of-Ginge
Summary: This is a story based in the world of Noughts and Crosses. The main characters are nought Emilia and Cross Kellan.
1. Chapter 1

Noughts and Crosses Tribute

Emilia

I looked up through my frizzy strands of hair to watch his face. To sneak a glimpse at his perfect features, his shining crow-black hair, his rich ebony skin, his long eyelashes, the perfect curve of his lips. His dark eyes flickered up to meet mine. I looked away as my cheeks flamed, hiding beneath the crazy curls that dominate my scalp and that refuse to be tamed by any mere hairbrush. I imagined what it would be like to reach out and touch his flawless face, to stroke his poreless skin; I imagined that it would feel like silk and that his hair would smell like sweet perfume. I imagined staring into his eyes for hours on end. I imagined him speaking the words 'I love you' with his amazingly perfect mouth.

Stop daydreaming, Emilia, he's a Cross, you're a nought, he'd never want you. He is the image of perfection; you are the lowest of the low. I should just do what my dad says and "work hard and keep my head low", I was lucky enough to get into this school, there are only five of us noughts here, and all of us know that it may only be temporary. Why did I have to be born this way? Why couldn't I be born a Cross? Why couldn't I have a happy, easy life, without having to work my ass off for every little thing? I know it was selfish but I hated my parents for it. I hate them for being noughts even though it was out of their control, and I hate them for giving birth to me even though they love me very much.

I risked another glance at Kellan; his eyes were on my face studying my features that were painfully average compared to his. He looked away quickly and I must have been daydreaming because for a second I thought I saw his umber cheeks blush. The bell rang and I knew that my time with him was up. He stood up faster than I thought was possible and practically ran out of the room. Figures. I bet he saw me staring at him and thought I was some kind of crazy stalker. Well it's not like he'd like me anyway I'm just a nought, a blanker. When people pass me on the streets they see the colour of my skin not the fact that I could run faster than anyone here if I was given the chance or the fact that I have gotten straight A's ever since I came to this school.

I stared down at my pale arms wishing I could be like him, fit into a world which won't accept me. A world which chooses to enslave people like me, to make us feel inferior, to treat us like crap. I stared into space trying to imagine myself as a Cross, which I found extremely easy, after years of practice. I would be beautiful, I would be respected and Kellan would finally smile at me, or talk to me. I took a brown pen out of my pencil case and coloured in one of my porcelain fingers until it was the perfect cocoa brown. I sighed wishfully as people bustled past me, eager to get to lunch. I stood up and shuffled out of the room, not surprised that I was the last one there. I took my usual seat at lunch beside all the other noughts, I ate my usual meal and I talked about the usual things. Time passed quickly. Everyday was the same, but something was different, there were three beautiful Cross girls standing up and walking over to my table. I knew I wasn't the only one who noticed. Eyes swivelled to see what could possibly hold the interest of the three most popular girls in the school. It couldn't possibly be our table, but that seemed to be where they were heading. I looked down to try and avoid any kind of eye contact. I heard the room go silent and I sheepishly glanced upwards and was shocked to see all three goddesses standing right in front of me. I waited patiently for someone to explain what was happening. I was painfully aware of the sound of my heartbeats and my increasingly heavy breathing.

"Come with us," said Kayla, the leader of the three girls.

A murmur of interest spreads like wildfire around the room. What do they want with me? I'm an outsider, no worse than that, I'm a nobody. I have no choice but to follow them, even though I'm sure that this cannot be good. These girls to not extend friendship to noughts, to nobodies. I stand up and follow them, ignoring the hundreds of eyes staring at me. I decided to risk one look behind me as I silently walked out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

Kellan

Where is she going? I stared at her back as she was escorted out of the room. Why are they so interested in her? She's done nothing to them. Leave her alone, please leave her alone.

Emilia

Where are they taking me? I've done nothing to them; I just keep my head low and mind my own business, like my dad says, and I'm happy in the background, for now. I'm scared. Leave me alone, please just leave me alone.

Kellan

I turned back to the awed faces at my table, sure that their faces mirrored my own expression. The room buzzed with speculation, and I heard snippets from confused conversations. They couldn't understand why a simple nought was now at the centre of all of this excitement. But they don't know Kayla, Nancy or Jo like I do. They are ruthless and will do anything to get what they want. I tried to show some interest in my tables' conversation, but I can't stop my mind wandering. She is just a nought. A nought that so far hasn't done anything, she hasn't even tried to stand out from the crowd. She probably thinks I hate her, but I don't. I just get lost in thinking about her beauty, and then I have to tell myself, 'she's a nought'. But although I don't know her, I have a feeling that she's a good person. It might be her frizzy brown hair that looks so uncontrollable it makes me want to laugh, or maybe it's her crystal blue eyes that are so expressive and innocent she couldn't possibly ever tell a lie. I just have a bad feeling about this.

I break away from my train of thought to realise that no one is speaking. I look up to see what has drawn my tables' attention, and am confused to see all eyes on me.

"What?" I whispered fiercely to my friend, Paul.

"Sorry, did I distract you from your own little world?" Paul teased.

I didn't say anything. I waited for the other Crosses at my table to continue their conversations before I spoke,

"What do you think that was about before?"

"Wha'?" asked Paul, his mouth filled to the brim with food.

"You know what. Now can you please close your mouth, I am in danger of losing _my_ lunch"

Paul reluctantly complied, swallowing an unusually large amount of now unidentifiable food.

"Well, the noughts had it coming. They think that they have the right to come to our school and they think they're one of us. Filthy good-for-nothing blankers" Paul mumbled under his breath

Sometimes Paul was just so irritating, no matter how many times you try to make him understand that calling a nought a 'blanker'-I mentally winced at the word- was just as bad as calling a Cross a 'dagger', but he'll never change his mind.

There it was again. That silence. I turned in my seat to see what it was this time.

All eyes turned to the back of the hall.

She was back.


	3. Chapter 3

Emilia

The eyes turned to me. They were studying my face, analysing my every movement, undressing me with their eyes, tearing away every emotion until I was nothing more than a black hole in the centre of the room. _Please stop looking at me. _They all want to know. But they won't hear it from me. _Please_ s_top looking at me._ All eyes are on me, except the one person who I wish was staring at me, the one person I care about in this hellhole, and he isn't looking. _Please look at me_.

Kellan

I can't look at her. I don't want to see what they've done. I don't want to know if they've done anything. Questions buzzed round my head, stinging my brain, again and again. How long had she been gone? Was she hurt? Why can't I look at her? Why do I even care? I shouldn't care. She means nothing to me. She's a nought, she's just a nought.

Emilia

Why isn't he looking at me? Why is he the only one? I know what I look like. I know that I am ugly even without the blood and bruises. Do I disgust him that much, that he can't even bear to look at me? I should stop hoping for a world that will never exist, and just except that he will never like me and noughts will never be equals. Even our names are a constant reminder of that. _Noughts_. Nothings. Completely useless. I shouldn't judge people by their colour of skin, that makes me just as bad as everyone else, but when I see someone I can't help but make assumptions in my head. It's the way that the world I've grown up in works. If you're a Cross, 'congratulations, here's a free pass to life', however if you're a nought, well then life is tough, get used to it.

That's why I love Kellan. When I look at him all I can see is my inadequacy, but when I gaze into his eyes then I lose track of noughts and Crosses, of black and white, and of right and wrong. He's just Kellan and I'm just Emilia, we don't have to be anyone else. I feel like he's the only person with whom I could truly be myself. That sounds so corny. But I know that that's a life I want, but not one I'll ever have.

The bloodthirsty eyes followed me as I walked across the room.

I don't know how long I was gone for; I stopped counting minutes after the first couple of hits. I should have been expecting it, but that sick hope inside me keeps returning like an unwelcome visitor. That's what I was to those girls, an unwelcome visitor in their school. As I was repeatedly reminded with every hit those girls gave me, every blow to the head was the same message again and again. _You're just a nought. Bam. You're just a nought. Ow. You're just a nought. Thud. Just a nought. Darkness._


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you Lynette McGregor and Tweetz1 for your reviews! This is my first whole chapter from Kellans' POV. Hope you enjoy it!**

Kellan

Oh god. I need to look at her.

No, I shouldn't.

_But it's my fault. I knew this would happen; they do it every year._

No one else stops them, they just turn a blind eye.

_But_ _what if she's injured? _

I already know the answer to that question

_Is she okay?_

Who cares? Certainly not me. Because she means nothing to me. God why am I having arguments with myself? This is what she does to me, I don't even know her and she's making my head explode. I have to look, this is eating me up. Just a quick look, no harm will be done. She won't know. She wouldn't care anyway. Why would she? I mean nothing to her. Just like she means nothing to me. Absolutely nothing. So what's to stop me looking? Everyone else is. Just one quick look...

Oh crap! She is staring straight at me. What did they do to her? Her face is all swollen and red, and there's a deep wound on the side of her temple. Her white skin is covered in dried blood and any area that isn't, has bruises. Half of her face is swollen, pulling her mouth into a permanent half-smile. She looks a mess; they must have really taken it out on her. The thought made my hands curl into balls on the table, my short, sharp nails digging into the skin of my palm, but I don't know why. Odd expressions cross her face; embarrassment, hurt, pain and something else that I can't work out. She's still looking at me, and I'm staring straight back at her. Well, she's not exactly looking; since one of her eyes is completely closed by the rapid swelling on her face, and the other is too filled with tears to possibly see through.

Paul is looking at me with a strange expression on his face, which I catch out of the corner of my eye. Obviously I am not the only one to realise that the sudden centre of attention is staring at me. I try to turn my attention to Paul, to give a quick shrug and laugh it off, but my head stays transfixed on this girl standing twenty yards away. I can't even move my eyes to watch Pauls' face as she starts to move towards the table she was sitting at before. She sits down a couple of seats away from anyone else, an obvious gesture saying that she wants to be left alone. That seems to suit her table fine as the other four noughts continue to face each other, not looking at the girl who was supposed to be their friend. They are all just glad that they weren't the ones to be targeted. The girl doesn't seem to notice as everyone else's eyes drift away, back to their tables and their friends. The slow humming of conversations return, but I don't think she notices. She watches me as I watch her, hypnotised by each others eyes.

Why won't she look away? Why can't I? My head suddenly seems stuck in place. The pain in her face makes me feel such tremendous shame. I knew what was going to happen. Why didn't I stop them? Because it isn't my responsibility. So why do I feel guilt? The answer is I don't. I don't care about her, I don't want to help her, and I don't care if they continue to beat her up, because it isn't my problem. A single glittering tear spilled over from her eye and slid down her porcelain cheek. That was too much, I looked away.


	5. Chapter 5

Emilia

I stared in silence at my food, as tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn't look back at his face, after he looked down. But the way he was looking at me, for a moment I thought… Well no that's just wishful thinking. I was hoping to be sent home by the teachers before I had to face the cafeteria again, but the teachers were just like the students, turn a blind eye to everything. I won't have long to wait until I can go home, and there's no way my mum will let me come back in tomorrow if she sees my face. I hope that happens, then I won't have to be under the microscope again, I felt so exposed, walking into that room.

The bell rang. I didn't notice. I just sat staring at my food. Time passed so slow, when I wanted it to go fast. I guess that the word is irony. I heard the people move past, I felt the room empty of heat and heard the heavy breaths of eager students as they left the room. I saw nothing but my plate. I didn't talk, I didn't move. I didn't care if I was late or if I never moved from this spot again.

I don't think the teachers will even notice if I don't turn up to class or if I just walk out of this school. I wish I could but I don't think I have the guts to walk out. I pushed my tray to the side, not looking up. I was alone at last. I couldn't hold it in any longer, I put my head on the table and let the sobs tear themselves through my chest.

Kellan

Oh no, she's crying. I don't think she knows that I'm still here. I tried to go with Paul, but suddenly I couldn't find the strength to stand up, so I just told him that I would catch him up. I wonder if I should say something to comfort her, or just stay invisible. Would she be angry knowing that I stayed and that I saw her break down in tears? Or would she just be embarrassed? I watched her for a few seconds before I stood up and slowly walked over to her.

Emilia

I was suddenly aware that I wasn't alone. I looked up expecting to see an irritated teacher or a worried janitor, but was shocked to see Kellan standing in front of me looking rather embarrassed. I sat watching him until I realised tears were still fresh on my cheeks. I looked down and painfully wiped my cheeks with the sleeve of my jumper. Ouch, that stings. Again, I looked upwards to see if it was a dream or not. Maybe I was still passed out in the corridor?

"Are you …emm… okay?" Asked an embarrassed dream Kellan.

Great, even in my dreams I can't come up with anything original. No 'I love you' or 'I want to be with you right now'. And why was he embarrassed? Usually in my dreams he was really confident, and half-naked. Maybe this isn't a dream…

"Hello? Anyone there?" said Kellan.

"What do you want?" I asked, it was meant to be sharp, but sounded more strangled.

"I just wanted to know if you were alright," he replied, "but if you want me to go…"

He started to turn around, he barely had moved before I wanted to kneel down on the floor and ask him to stay with me forever, but I can control myself.

"No, please stay." I whispered.

He complied happily, smiling widely, before sitting down on the seat opposite mine. His cheeky grin just made me want to hug him.

"You know, you're the only person to ask me that."

"What?"

"If I'm okay."

"What about your friends?"

I laughed cold and hard and completely without humour. I'm sure both of us know that I have no friends.

"For noughts, we have no friends, it's every person for themselves. Each one of us know that given the chance, we'd screw over each other to get something we want."

I sighed. It's hard to admit the truth, but the truth is that none of us are truly friends, we just need each other because we need some sort of companionship.

"That's tough."

"So is life, haven't you heard?" I said with a quick smile, which is half sincere.

"I think I heard that somewhere…" he drifted off with a thoughtful look on his face.

I smiled a broad smile and the expression on his face made me laugh out loud. And suddenly we were both laughing. It was probably the best way to stop myself from crying. And I don't know why, but I don't think I'd ever felt happier.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to my loyal reviewers (tweetz1 and Lynette McGregor of course!). I promise you this story is going somewhere however slow and train like it may be. And even if I haven't figured out quite where yet. And no copyright intended although I vaguely mention two characters used in the original books.**

Kellan

_What am I doing? _That's the only thought going through my head whilst I laugh for what seems like forever. It's so easy to forget when I'm with her. But I can't forget everything I know, everything that I've been told by everyone I know. Noughts and Crosses can't mix, can't be friends, can't be together. It isn't a law, but it's common knowledge.

_Why? That's another question. Why does it have to be like this? Why is she a nought? Why am I a Cross? Why, when we're so different, can we have so much in common? Why do I find her so interesting? Why am I captivated in her? These are questions that will never be answered. _

_I look at her. Properly look. I first look in her eyes, but I drown in the deep blue colour. Her eyes are so innocent that they actually hurt to look at. In her eyes there's such sadness. I want to make it go away, I want to make her pain end, but I don't know how. Even with the bruising and swelling, it's obvious she's still very attractive. She must think that she isn't, in a world where Crosses are always beautiful, noughts seem to think that they are not. It confuses me. _

_Eventually the laughter had to end. The silence was too loud, I wanted to fill it up. I wanted to say a thousand things in that one second to push out every inch of quietness from the room. I wanted to know everything about her._

"_So do you always skip class or is this a one time thing? Because I could complain that you're a bad influence on me," I teased._

"_Excuse me but you're skipping class too" She replied, annoyed._

_Her bottom lip jutted out into a pout that I couldn't resist laughing at. It felt so easy, so natural, this laughter. It felt nice. I didn't have to force anything or pretend to be an arrogant Cross ass to be accepted. She tried to not smile, but eventually gave up. Her smile is so contagious. And her laugh is officially my new favourite sound in the world. _

_I don't know how long we talked for. I drifted off into our conversation, smothering myself in her voice. We talked about everything and anything we could think of. I try to commit everything to memory, so that I'll know it next time… Next what? I don't even know if there'll be a next time. Yes, I do know the answer. That's why I'm so thirsty for information. Because I know there will not be a next time. I cannot let this happen again. Or can I? I'm not doing any harm. Plenty of noughts and Crosses are friends. I've even heard about couples. But I don't know if I could do something that rebellious against my father. But then again there are those couples you hear about, like a nought and a Cross who used to go to this school, the nought boy kidnapped a Cross, raped her and got her up the duff, and then he was hanged, and it all ended pretty badly._

_The bell rang. The sound rang through me, shattering my bones and my organs. I know what that sound means, it means the end of school and the end of my time with Emilia. My heart purred when I hear her name in my head. I stood up, my jaw hard and angry. Why did it have to end? I took one more look at her before I walked out of the room, my heart protesting painfully in my chest._

_I didn't know if this was going to work and I didn't know if she felt the same way, but something that I know for sure is that I have to see her again. Or my heart might tear itself from my chest. I don't care about responsibilities or black and white anymore. I just care about her, only her. And I knew then that that beautiful little nought had captured my heart._


	7. Chapter 7

**11 reviews!!! Yay!! (Even if it is from the same two people, I don't mind!!!!) Keep reviewing! Sorry this has been a while since the last one, but I've been revising for exams ****L (and am pretty lazy)**

**~Thanks**

**~Catriona x**

Emilia

I sit watching his back as he leaves. I would take a lifetime of beatings if it meant I could have just one more conversation like that one. I think my mind is so happy, my body is numb. I can't move.

But he walked away, without even a 'goodbye'. I wonder why… I thought we were having fun, but maybe that was just me.

The distant noise of bustling children interrupts my thoughts. Is it the end of school already? Oh god. I missed the whole afternoon. They'll call my dad and he'll be so angry, but maybe not when he sees my face. I hope not. I slowly arise from the chair I'm sitting in, only to stumble dizzily. I think I've forgotten how to stand up. My legs flail about uselessly below me as I attempt to walk across the room.

Will he talk to me again? Or was that just out of pity? He's taking pity on me. Fantastic. I've moved from a nobody to a charity case. Maybe in my head I can drift off into fantasies of us running through a meadow together, cheesy or what? If I just tilt my head to the side and let my mind wander, it won't be too hard, after all, I do it every day…

Kellan

What am I doing? I just skipped the whole afternoon and will probably be grounded for until my next birthday, just to talk to someone who I may or may not be in love with. Life sucks. How do you know if you're in love with someone? Does your heart speed up when they're around? Because mine does. Do giant hearts appear in your eyes? OK maybe I'm not that crazy. I suppose you just know. But if you've never been in love before, how do you know what love feels like? I've had girlfriends in the past, but they never lasted, they were all stupid and shallow, and Crosses of course. There's another thing, she's a nought. Why should that matter? Because it does matter. Because society dictates so. Because of what people like Paul, Crosses like Paul believe.

Oh god. I'm getting a headache.

I'll see her tomorrow, and if I don't, I'll see her somehow. I'll make sure of it. I need to see her, like I need oxygen. In my head it goes Emilia, oxygen, water, food. Not very clever, but hey, neither am I. I'm in love with a nought. I'm a Cross and I love a nought. I'm a dog and I'm in love with a cat. I could go on forever. But I'll bore myself.

Her face pushes its' way to the front of my mind. Her beautiful, bruised and battered face. I know now that that's why I was angry. If anyone tries to hurt her, they'll have me to deal with. I love her and if anyone destroys that, I'll kill them.

**A/N OOOOHHHH…. It's getting interesting keep reading!!! **


	8. Chapter 8

Kellan

I walk in through my front door, closing it gingerly behind me. I take a moment to look at my surroundings. A giant plasma screen TV took up most of the cream coloured wall near me. Strange, it isn't on. It makes the room too quiet. I hate my house. I know I'm in trouble. I could tell as soon as I walked inside. There is only silence, no music, no television in the background. I looked around, but there was no one there. I ran upstairs, almost tripping in my hurry up the gleaming, white marble staircase.

"Julius!" I shouted, but I couldn't hear my brother's usual loud music or any girls.

See my brother was the 'ladies man' of our family. My father is handsome, but he's no Julius. My younger brother still thinks that girls have 'cooties'. And I lack the heartless, ruthless streak you need to date lots of girls at once. But although I'll never admit it, I envy him. I'm always known as 'Julius's little brother' by people in my school, by teachers, even by my parents. He was only one year older than I am but he's a legend at our school. Ladies want him, guys want to be him, you know, stuff like that.

I ran up a couple more flights of stairs and I was running out of breath. I knew that running was a big mistake, when I almost collapsed at the top of the stairs. I turned a corner and there was his room, maybe he hadn't heard me. I ran through his door, ignoring the 'Do Not Enter Under Penalty Of Death' signs.

Oh my god.

Un-bloody-believable.

I think death will be a pleasurable experience after the beating I am going to get.

Emilia

I walk in through the front door, closing it gingerly behind me. I take a moment to look at my surroundings. A tiny are-you-sure-it's-a-television-because-it's-kinda-small TV sits against the puke green wall. I hate my house. The dim lights outline my dad sitting on the couch, drinking a beer. There's no difference there then.

"Mum!" I call.

"Through here!" Here voice sounds oddly strained.

I slowly walk through to our kitchen which is about half the size of our whole house. I'm sure that our whole house is about the same size as a cardboard box. I shuffled through into the kitchen and braced myself for another argument.

"Mum? I'm home," I said with a hopeful smile.

She was cutting chicken, with a long glimmering, steel knife. Put down the knife, Mum. Put down the knife.

She stared up at me, her eyes glistening with tears. Oh no. What have I done?


	9. Chapter 9

Emilia

"Mum? What's wrong?" I whispered.

She turns around so that she isn't facing me. It'll be easier for her this way. She probably hopes that I hadn't seen her crying. She would rather give up our house than let anyone see her cry, I don't know where her pride got lost, because I certainly don't have it, and my little sister cries all the time, granted she might only be two years old, but still, she cries a lot.

"You know damn well what's wrong." She snapped, going from crying to raging in a millisecond.

I stood there silently watching my mothers' back. I don't want to admit to anything in case it isn't what she's talking about. Why would she be so upset because I missed a couple hours of school?

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mum"

"Yes you do. Don't stand there and lie to me. You skipped school. After all of the sacrifices me and your father have made to get you into that school, you go and blow it all away! Is this school a joke to you? You know that they're looking for a reason to kick you out." I wish I could see her face, to know what she's feeling.

I tried to find the strength to talk as a large lump welled up in my throat, "Mum, it wasn't my fault!" I cried, but it barely sounded more than a hoarse whisper.

She spun round to face me, her eyes wild with rage. She took a second before she was about to lecture me. But a second was all it took to take in my bruised face, my swollen lips and my black eye. She gasped loudly.

"Oh my god" she whispered before she ran over to envelop me in a huge hug.

I knew that I was going to have to tell her everything, there was no point in lying about it. Tears started to flow down her cheeks and before I knew it we were both crying our eyes out in the middle of our kitchen.

I stared down at my hands, looking at the finger that I had coloured in earlier today. It seemed like a lifetime ago. The colour had faded and smudged to a sort of deep caramel colour. They'd liked that. Those girls. When they saw my hand they laughed at me and kicked me harder, if that was possible, and then one of them had stood on my hand. That was all I remembered before I blacked out. There was a deep indentation and a bruise in a small reddish purple circle reminding me exactly where that girl, Jo, had stepped on my hand with her five inch stiletto heel. Ouch. It hurts to move my hand. I don't think it's broken, well I hope not.

I had just told my mum exactly what had happened, no detail spared. God, she looks a mess, worse than me, if that's possible. She runs a bony hand through her frizzy brown hair. Hmmm… I wonder who I take after. On one hand there's my mother, gorgeous, with brown hazel eyes and chestnut hair, slim and elegant with snow white skin. Then there's my father. Short and fat with dull grey eyes, a round face that goes beetroot every time he's angry, a beer belly and very hairy (arms and legs, his head's as bald as a baby's backside). Personally, I hope it's my mum. My dad may sound like a sex god but let me tell you, there's only two things he cares about, TV and alcohol. I don't know how my mum ever ended up with him. It's really weird, when she looks at him, her face lights up, her eyes sparkle, like he's a movie star. It kind of reminds me of how I look when I see Kellan, and every so often I think he gets it when he looks at me. But maybe that's wishful thinking.

I made my mum promise me two things, one that she wouldn't tell Dad and the second that she wouldn't tell the school. No one would stand up for me as a witness, and why would the teachers suddenly believe me when they turned a blind eye in the first place?

I excuse myself and go up to my bedroom, if you can call it that, me I choose cardboard box. I want to be alone, with my thoughts (mainly of Kellan). I lie down on my small bed, try not to fall off the other side and think about Kellan in all of his perfection and wonder if somewhere he's thinking of me too.


	10. Chapter 10

**~Kellan~**

I did not just see that. I did not just see that. I did not just walk into my brothers room. And I did not just see that. Ew. Ew. Ew. I shudder in disgust. The memory lingers in my head like a bad smell, it refuses to go away. Running up the stairs, running towards the door, turning the doorknob, opening the door, seeing… that. Of all the things I would not have expected that. Drinking, drugs, girls, I thought I'd seen it all… guess not. I sprinted downstairs, and thought about the consequences of what I'd just done. I should probably go somewhere, like the local coffee shop, because my brother is going to kill me, but I still couldn't believe it.

**~Emilia~**

Random shapes, colours, Kellan's face, brief memories of talking to him at lunch, his voice, his smell, his face again, the look of hunger of the Crosses girls faces as they beat me to a pulp. Kellan's face.

I awoke suddenly gasping as I realised that I'd actually stopped breathing. I don't know why I got woken up now. I sighed as I noticed the time on my alarm clock. It was a Saturday as well. I groaned annoyed. I lay back down on my pillow cussing under my breath. And the worst thing was I wouldn't be able to see Kellan again until Monday, unless I go to that coffee shop he likes. I'll go there. I can't sleep anyway, it's not like anyone will notice.

**~Kellan~**

My brother comes racing down the stairs after me. I turn to run, but he grabs my arm. I look back expecting a punch in the face or something, but I meet a look that I'd never seen on my brother before, pleading. I stand there, speechless, waiting for him to explain. It's a while before any sound comes out of his mouth, but when it does it sounds dry and half-strangled:

"It isn't what you think" he says.

"And what do I think?" I snap.

"I am not acting out, and it isn't for attention"

"That isn't what I think," I whisper.

"Yes it is, it always is," he says, a hint of hostility in his voice now, "you think that everything I do is to spite you, well sorry to break it to you, but not everything is to do with you"

"Isn't it? Admit it. You may not do _everything_ to spite me, but you sure a hell try a lot harder to be the centre of attention when I'm around. You hate the fact that someone in this family wants to, and could, do better than you" I shout.

"Well you can't seem to understand that some people in this family don't want to live their whole lives as spoilt brats who have everything handed to them on a silver platter! That maybe some people want to be different!"

I stare at him without saying a word, my throat is dry from the shouting contest. He sits down on the sofa next to me and after a minute I do the same. I realise with shock that that's the first time we'd ever said those things, or admitted our true feelings.

"So there it is." I murmur.

"Yip," he replies, popping the 'p', "there it is."

"Does Dad know?" I ask, but I'm sure I already know the answer.

"No, and don't tell him. I'm working my way up to that…" his voice trailed off and his eyes clouded over as he went off into his own thoughts.

"I won't." I said, pulling him back into reality.

"Do you have… eh… are there…eh…any questions?" he muttered, looking embarrassed.

Me and my brother were never very good at the whole heart-to-heart thing. We seem to lack the brotherly bond, siblings are born with, that means we could share our feelings. I avoided his eyes, blushing.

"Emm… when did you realise… you know… that you were… you know"

"You mean when did I realise that I was gay? I guess I've always kind of known"

I stared into space as I realised exactly what would happen to our family. Dad would get angry, he'd probably kick my brother out, mum would get upset, my brother would be fine, he always is.

If I was close to my brother then I suppose I would have cared that he didn't tell me sooner, but we're not and I don't. I was just upset to have found out like… that. Walking in on my brother mid-make-out with another dude was not the start to the weekend that I'd hoped for.

I need to get out of here at some point or I'll implode. It's too early to go to the library, too awake to go to sleep, too awkward to stay here. I'll go to the coffee shop, it's open 24/7. And there won't be many people there, it'll be a great place to be alone, even though that isn't I want to be right now.


	11. Chapter 11

**~Kellan~**

My mood suddenly changed as I walked through the door of 'Hunter's Coffee Shop'. The warm, sweet scent of pastries mixed with the sharp tang of coffee, suddenly made me feel better. I walked up to the counter with a huge smile, that felt like it was to big for my face.

"Hey Hunter!" I called to the chubby nought behind the till, with a wave.

"Oh, hi Kellan. Good to see you again. It's a bit early isn't it?" he asked

"Problems at home." I replied, looking away.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.

I looked up and nodded at him, plastering a fake smile on my face.

"Well, what can I get you?"

That was the great thing about Hunter. He always knows when to shut up and change the subject.

"Do you even need to ask?" I replied with a cheesy grin.

"A large coffee and a chocolate muffin coming up then."

"Thanks"

I turned to find a place to sit, but that wouldn't be to hard since no one would be here at this time in the morning, except the strange losers that sometimes hang around by themselves.

But there was someone new. But not exactly new, I recognised her face straight away. I'd seen her here before, so why do I care if she's here or not? Why am I so interested now? Why is it all of a sudden that I notice little things that I'd never seen before? Like the way that she curls her hair around her fingers when she's nervous, or when she laughs, she sticks out her tongue a little. Ahhh… Why is this happening to me now? I'd known her for years. Is it because I felt sorry for her? I'd always fancied her but it's 'forbidden', it's 'wrong'. A nought with a Cross, Oh the tragedy! Forget war and famine, we must stop crossbreeding! God I hate this world. But not everyone in it… sigh…

She's looking. A flicker of confusion crosses her perfect face. I look a the empty seat opposite her. Should I? I want to, but … but what? What is stopping me going over and sitting next to her and talking with her all night? I have lots of nought friends, like Hunter, why can't I be her friend? I think it's because I know that I have feeling too strong to ever be friendship. And if I talk to her right now I may never stop. And it could easily turn into something more, something dangerous.

She looks at the chair and then back at me. She gestures to the chair politely.

Oh god decision time. Stay and risk staying forever, or go home and risk my family. I stand there, frozen. A shot of pain shows on her face before she looks away. No, don't feel pain, never feel pain because of me. I'm not worth it. I give in to my desires, and sit down, looking up nervously.

**~Emilia~**

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. He's here! Why's he here so early? Should I ask him that? Yes, slip it into the conversation. What conversation? Talk to him. It's getting awkward…

"Two appearances in two days!" he says with mock shock, "I'm honoured."

I smile against my own will.

"So, why are you here so early?" he asks

"I could ask you the same thing"

"Fair enough. I have some …_problems…_ at home" he replies looking sheepish.

I know that I should leave it there, but I can't;

"Problems?" I probe, looking up trough my hair, trying to look sexily mysterious. Dammit, forgot, I can't pull off sexy. I look down as I blush scarlet through my translucent cheeks.

"Well, where do I start? My father is an snobby, angry controlling man who hates all noughts, my mother is a timid woman who lets my father control everything, and I've just found out that my brother is gay, and my father will most likely disown him and kick him out."

I sit there stunned while Kellan catches his breath. Who knew life was so complicated for the other half?

"And now that I've just poured out my heart to you, do I get to know your life story?" he asks slyly.

God he's sexy.

"Okay, here goes," I take a large breath "I have an alcoholic father who couldn't care less if I came home at night, and my mother is okay most of the time, but she tries to fix everything. My whole house could probably fit in your bathroom and I spend most of my time alone in my bedroom."

We stare at each other silently, and then without warning he bursts into fits of laughter. I stare in shock and upset.

"Is my life funny to you?" I whisper, my eyes brimming with tears. He's laughing at me, my life is pathetic to him.

I look down to avoid his smouldering looks, but suddenly his hand is under my chin, burning my skin where it touches. He pulls my face up to meet his gaze. I wouldn't be able to look away if I tried.

"I was laughing because our lives are both shit and yet you are one of the most optimistic people I know."

"Well then you must know a lot of pessimistic people" I whisper, my throat hoarse.

He isn't letting go. That's a sign, I want to kiss him, but I can't. So very tempting.

But before I can think or move away, he leans in, his sweet breath so very, very tempting…


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry guys it's been ages since my last chapter. But summer hols… what can I say?**

**~Kellan~**

I don't know what I'm doing, or why, but all I know is I'm doing it. Here's the crucial point, I can either pull back and save my dignity, or I can let it happen. I look at her beautiful face staring at me with an unidentifiable expression. Her beautiful face, her beautiful nought face. Oh god what am I doing? I'll let her decide, she can choose. I don't know what to do. I surrender to her. I'm completely at her mercy.

**~Emilia~**

What is he doing? What about the rules? Is he joking? Is he going to pull away at last minute and say 'Ha Ha I got you!'? But what if he's serious? He doesn't look like he's laughing … yet anyway. Wait till he sees my kissing skills, or lack thereof. Oh my god I'm such a loser! Look up the word 'loser' in the dictionary and there'll be a picture of me waving. He has a reputation, not as big as his brother's but a reputation all the same. He's a lady's man, womanizer, lady-killer. Why would he be interested in me? The girls he goes out with all vaguely resemble teenage supermodels, all Crosses of course. Ah, I'm burbling in my own head. Stop it and calm down.

I have to make a decision, he isn't going to wait forever. But I'm so scared. Shit, man. I need to take a deep breath and just go with my heart. See I never get that saying, a heart is an organ, it can't give decisions. Anyway, I'm stalling. Look into my heart, again impossible. Why has he stopped, is he waiting for me? Coward. Jeez, men, such bloody chickens!

I focus back onto his face, he must feel stupid right now, or maybe he thinks that I'm retarded. I look at his dark hair, I look at his beautiful lips, no don't stare he'll think you're a pervert, and then I look into his amazing eyes which I could spend all day listing the ways in which they are perfect and the different colours that are in them, when suddenly I can clearly see the answer that I need.

**~Kellan~**

Ok. Bored of waiting. Is she going to make up her mind or not? Jeez, women, so bloody indecisive! Waiting, waiting, oh, still waiting. Each millisecond feels like an hour stretched out. Screw it! I'm doing it. Don't trust a woman to do a man's job.

**~Emilia~**

I love you, I whisper quietly in my head -so quiet at first I barely even heard my own thought, that's new- as I lean in towards either a dream or total destruction.

I lean my head towards him across the table, and at the same time he moves towards me. He's so close. I can feel his breath on my skin, sliding over my face like warm silk. And then we kiss. His lips meet mine in a moment so perfect, I can almost hear fireworks in the distance. My eyes close and I concentrate on not smiling or laughing, because he doesn't know it, but all of my dream are coming true. I feel so happy, happier than I've ever been before. His hand is in my hair twisting and tangling but I don't mind, it feels good, natural. I drift off in a cocoon of passion as I slip further and further away from reality.


	13. Chapter 13

**~Kayla~**

Out of all the girls. Why choose her? My hands curled into tight fists as I watched that slut kiss him through the steamy window of Hunters café. She isn't pretty, and worst of all she's a blanker. It should be me in there kissing him. How could he have forgotten about me already? It wasn't that long ago when it _was_ me in there with him. I ignore the sob that's trying to escape from my tightly clenched mouth.

You would have thought that me, Nance and Jo would have taught her a lesson, but no. Well maybe she needs a refresher course. And you would have thought that Kellan would have had enough common sense to keep his tongue out of her mouth after we beat her up just for his benefit.

I keep my hands fixed at my sides to stop myself from running in there and tearing out that bitch's hair. Something has to be done. This can't go on. How could he possibly like her over me? I'm gorgeous, tall, thin and sexy. She's a _blanker_ for gods sake. Well lets just see…

I pick up my phone and dial a number I know off by heart.

"Hey, babe, you'll never guess what Kellan's been doing lately. Or should I say _who_ he's been doing lately? A blanker by the name of Emilia." I smile coldly as I listen to the reaction of one of the only people that has the power to destroy Kellan.

"Oh hold on, I'll call you later with more details. I have some other people to call." I say as I hang up on the only brother in that family that seems to have any sense.

I quickly find another contact on my phone and hold the phone up to my ear as I listen to it ring.

"Hey Paul, honey, it's me, Kayla," I say huskily, "I have some news that you might be interested in on you friend Kellan, and feel free to tell anyone you want, but just tell them that I dumped Kellan first."

I continued to tell Paul about Emilia and Kellan in over-exaggerated and explicit detail.

"No Paul, you and I will not be doing that anytime soon," I had a sudden change of strategy, "Unless you tell as many people as you can. Then I might be in the mood to be a little more _generous_."

I hung up on Paul before I could here his enthusiastic and probably disgusting reply. Of course I want Kellan, and him not being available makes me want him even more, but along the way I may have to give out a few _favours_, and it's not like Paul isn't good-looking but not like Kellan. Kellan and I are meant to be, even if he doesn't know it yet. And prom's coming up, of course I assumed Kellan was going to ask me, but that was before all of this. But we'll still be going together whether he likes it or not.

I pick up my phone and dial the last number I need,

"Hey babes, change of plan, instead of going shopping this Saturday, you, me and Nance are going on a witch-hunt … Ye, turns out the blanker has been seeing too much of Kellan … Of course it makes me jealous! Me and Kellan are meant to be … No I do not think they have done 'it' yet, although that's what we're going to tell people … Yes I'm sure they have not had sex! He only saves that for special people. … Like me, you idiot! Just spread the word."

I hung up on Jo before I completely lost my temper at her. She is such an idiot! I don't know why I hang around with her. Oh yeah, it's cause she's good at beating up blankers. However I still find myself thinking back at what she said. They haven't -you know-ed yet, have they? He told me it was meaningful, like art, though I totally don't see what art has to do with sex, but anyway. I feel very possessive over him, he is mine, not hers, mine. She can't have him. She'll learn soon enough. Blankers and Crosses don't mix for a reason, because there are people, like me, Nance and Jo, that stop Crosses taking what they don't deserve. And she doesn't deserve him. Only I deserve him. And if I can't have him then the Blanker bitch is going to die.


	14. Chapter 14

~Kellan~

I'm in love. I'm head over heels. I'm talking red roses, giant hearts, cupid's hit me with an arrow, L-O-V-E, love. How am I going to tell my parents? How am I going to tell anyone? Maybe I shouldn't tell anyone, maybe it could be a secret? These are the things that I thought about while I am making out with my future wife. It's not as if I am trying to not think about Emilia, I am just trying to distract myself, because I know that if I think about the mistake I'm making right now, then my brain will probably explode.

I suspected before that this may have been love, but I was never 100 percent sure, and now I am. Kissing her is like breathing, I cant stop because if I do I am afraid of… what? … I don't know, just afraid. And it feels pretty damned good too.

~Emilia~

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh. My. God. Each time I remember that I'm kissing Kellan, it's like a shockwave of pleasure through my body. I'm practically shivering with excitement. I am so intoxicated by him, his smell, his taste, his touch. Everything about him draws me in, leaving me a senseless bumbling idiot. There's nothing I can do to stop it. I can just sit back and enjoy. It feels like we've been here for hours, kissing, tasting, experimenting, exploring. I want to get closer, be closer to him, but we're in a public place. Wait, we're in a public place. I don't want to stop kissing him, but I need to look around. I reluctantly break away having to physically pull myself back by grasping the sides of the table in between us. Kellan looks at me with confusion clear on his face, and pain.

Now I feel awful. I carefully avoid his glance and look around at the fairly empty café. There's Hunter behind the counter, but he's looking away as if everything is normal, there's a couple of people but they're too involved in they're own lives to notice. I'm surprised at the lack of attention, because if we were in a Cross café then it would be a major shock, but here, where it's comfy and quiet, it seems almost … normal. Which is impossible, because it will never be normal, kissing a Cross, it's wrong and forbidden, it's like an unwritten rule. Crosses and noughts, don't mix.

What am I doing? This will never end well. I have to stop now before I get hurt, before I get my heart broken. I just have to deal with the fact that we will never, can never be together. I have to nip it in the bud, because these feelings are growing too strong for me to deal with and if they get any stronger then heartbreak could literally be a life or death situation.

~Kellan~

I clear my throat, my mouth dry, "What's wrong?" I ask, wanting to be closer to her, to be near her all the time.

She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. I want to reach out and touch her cheek and tell her it's ok, but I know that it won't. It will never be ok.

"I … have to go," She murmurs under her breath, looking at the floor. Then suddenly, she stands up and walks swiftly out of the café, leaving me alone at a table, with a dazed expression on my face.

~Emilia~

Sorry Kellan. Sorry Kellan. Sorry Kellan. You deserve better and I know that. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry…

"Sorry." I mumble after bumping into someone outside. I barely notice the person I bump into, but I wouldn't be able to see them anyway, when my eyes are spilling over with tears. All I know is it's a female Cross. Why do Crosses go out at night? Aren't they afraid of nought knife crimes or something? Whatever.

I feel a churning in the pit of my stomach as my despair turns to anger. I hate Crosses and their stupid rules! Me and Kellan could be together if it weren't for them. I hate Crosses! Not Kellan of course, that would be idiotic. But most of all I hate that I am not one of them. I hate that I'm a nought and their not. It's alright for Kellan to make moves in private when no ones around, but I'm the reason it's a secret, I am the one who gets beaten nearly to death for it. And I'm tired of being that person. And I know there's nothing I can do about it, but, I'm tired of being a nought.


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry its been so long! But I'm back and ready to RRRUUUUMMBBBLLEEE!!!! Soz for that piece of randomness**

**Catriona**

**x**

**~Kayla~**

**Stupid blanker bitch. She just walked into me and didn't even notice, what gives her the right to ignore me? I have to hold back to stop myself from racing after her. I feel a sudden pain in my right hand and look down to see a row of four deep nail marks in my chocolate brown palm, I hadn't even noticed that I'd been squeezing my fist that hard. Wait a minute… if she's out here … then Kellan's all alone in there. I run my fingers through my long dark hair and check my reflection in the shiny café window. Perfect, as usual.**

**The door makes an annoying bell sound as I hurry through. There's that nought behind the counter, but Kellan likes him. What is it with Kellan and blankers? He treats them like… well, like … equals. Which is preposterous of course! They are the scum-of-the-earth, the very lowest of life forms.**

"**What can I get you?" said the nought across the counter, his tone was friendly but his eyes were filled with caution. **

"**Whatever Kellan's having." I reply with a charming smile.**

**He looks taken aback, as if he actually believes that that smile was real -laughable really-, as he rushes around getting my order looking quite stunned. I can be very charming when I want to be, that's what my mom told me, she says I'm not clever, gentle or kind but I could charm the birds out the sky. And my smile is so dazzling it can outshine the sun, people say, and I use that, I use it to get what I want. I am very persuasive, I can twist the truth any which way I choose. And I have a hell of slap, not that I use it, Jo and Nance are the blanker-beaters, me I like to think of myself as… the brains behind the operations. So what if I'm not 'book-smart', I can make plans and I can be conniving, devious and scheming, and that's all that really matters, right? **

"**Hi Kellan," I say as I sit down across from him.**

**He looks up startled, his face so beautiful, contorted by confusion and pain. I'll kill her if she hurts him. I smile at him shyly and he can't help but stare. **

"**What … emm… what are you doing here?" He struggles to make sense of the words, that's what I tend to do to guys, make them confused. **

"**Just wanting to get out," I reply quietly, I gesture around the café, "Isn't everyone here?"**

**Yes, just let him think I am sincere and have changed. He didn't bother answering, he was interrupted abruptly by that nought behind the counter. He placed a cup of coffee and a muffin on the table. A muffin? Seriously? It's like a big ball of chocolate flavoured carbs. But sacrifices have to be made in the pursuit of love, even if it means sacrificing my size 6 figure. **

"**Thank you." I say with another fake smile. Man, I am just made of fake smiles tonight.**

**He hurries back behind the counter looking very happy with himself. Smug little blanker. Kellan looks shocked, I just ignore his suspicious glances and ….**

"**What are you doing here?" Kellan asked, going straight to the point.**

"**You're very direct, Kellan, that's what I like about you," I whisper sultrily, "Among other things."**

"**Just answer my damn question," he says sharply.**

**I take great care in not leaving the pain off my face. Let him feel guilty. **

**Like magic, he recoils, softly saying "Please."**

"**Fine, I was wandering around outside, and I saw you in here all alone, and I wanted to see if you were OK, because Kellan, I still care about you, no matter what you said last time about me being a … what was it? … oh yeah, a 'cold, emotionless bitch who would die alone and be eaten by her cats'," he looks sheepish, "And I still love you, even if that feeling isn't reciprocated."**

**I look down, making him think I'm upset, making him feel guilty. It takes a lot more than meaningless words to hurt me, Kellan, although he came very close. **

"**Ok that was a bit harsh, granted, but you can't just beat up noughts whenever you want." he stated looking straight into my dark brown eyes. The Hell I can't!**

"**I know that. And you haven't even heard my side of the story! I honestly wanted to just talk to her, and to be honest tell her the dangers of falling for you. But when we got outside, she said that you were a 'self-centred arrogant dagger bastard, who she wouldn't fall for if it was the last thing she did' and I admittedly lost my calm and I slapped her. I am so remorseful about that, you have on idea. But then she attacked me! Look what she did to my hand!" I slowly turned by hand over revealing the deep nail wounds that were there, "So Nance and Jo fought her off me and started to hit her and kick her," I let my eyes well up with tears, "I was screaming at them to stop, but they wouldn't, and so I ran away to find someone, but when I came back they were all gone. I didn't tell anyone because Nance and Jo are my best friends, were my best friends and now you hate me."**

**Tears spilled over my cheeks dropping onto the table. Good thing I'm wearing waterproof mascara! What can I say? I'm an actress. I can cry on cue. I look up, my eyes blurry, to see Kellan looking so sad. Which means he bought that load of bull. Score! I wipe the fake tears off my face and sniffle just for good measure.**

"**I … I didn't know," he mumbled, "I am so sorry."**

"**Hey at least nothing happened between you two and you didn't fall for her." I say. But it isn't really a statement, it's a question, and he knows that to.**

**He is silent for a minute. I can't believe he even has to think this over! She's an ugly blanker you idiot. I want to scream but that would ruin my act.**

"**Umm… yeah… at least nothing happened and I didn't fall for her." He replies. But he doesn't look too sure. It's like he's trying to convince himself. **

"**Look, I'm not the same person I was before," Yeah I'm a hell of a lot more vicious, "I have really changed, you have changed me, you forced me to grow up and I really appreciate it."**

**His lips look so perfect I want to kiss him so much right now, but not yet. Instead I lean over and kiss his cheek, lingering for a moment before I move away. He grabs the back of my head and pulls me towards him until our lips meet. It makes me feel sick to think that that blanker's lips were here just before mine, but Kellan is more important. Kellan is kissing me and holding me. And I deserve this. She doesn't. Because I can lie, because I can act. And poor little rich boy thinks that I've changed, that is the funniest thing of all because it's all just and act, and this is the finale. And as I sit here in Kellan's loving embrace, I involuntarily smile, but this one's anything but fake.**


End file.
